You Could Be Happy
by angelbear1512
Summary: Living with regret, is the hardest thing in the world


**Alright, story time! So, I wrote this story shortly after I wrote Snapshots. I was planning on never posting it, because I've been going through a rough time recently, and this story reflects that. I basically wrote this about my ex-best friend and I, who haven't spoken in almost ten months. He and I got into a huge fight, and now, I can barely stand to be in the same room as him, without wanting to punch him in the face. Anyways, long story short, the song, "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol, which is the song this story is based off of, was playing on my ITunes, and I had just seen my ex-best friend over Christmas, at a get together with a group of mutual friends, and I just got inspired to write this. Anyways, he got back together with his girlfriend (who for some crazy reason hates me) yesterday, so I decided to post it, and see what everyone thought. Please leave me an awesome review, because I love getting them**

* * *

_You could be happy and I won't know, but you weren't happy the day I watched you go…_

* * *

"_This just isn't working Kendall. I'm sorry."_

"_Please don't leave me here." Kendall grabbed James's arm, hoping to keep him in their apartment._

_James wrenched his arm from Kendall's grasp. "I have to go."_

"_Fine then! Leave! See if I care!" Kendall shouted at him, tears streaming down his face. _

_James took one last glance, before he left, with a quiet, whispered, "I'll always love you". The door shut behind him, and Kendall slumped to the floor._

One year and five weeks. One year, five weeks, three days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes. That's how long it had been since James had walked out the door. Kendall pulled himself out of bed, and dragged himself into the bathroom. After a short shower, Kendall threw on some clothes, and trudged down to the local supermarket to get some food, as he was running low.

* * *

_And all the things that I wished I had not said, are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head_

* * *

Kendall walked into the supermarket, and grabbed a cart. Just as he was starting his shopping, a familiar voice wafted through the speakers. Kendall immediately stopped, frozen. James's latest tune was playing on the radio. The song that he had written and shown to Kendall, a month before their break-up. Their song. Life was fucking cruel. The tears started streaming down his face.

"_Fine then! Leave! See if I care!"_

Kendall abandoned his cart, and walked back out to his car, breathing heavily. This wasn't fair. Just when he thought he was getting better, life had to be a bitch, and remind him of everything he'd lost. When Kendall's tears had finally stopped, he started his car, effectively abandoning his shopping trip.

* * *

_Is it too late to remind you how we were, but not our last days of silence, screaming, blur…_

* * *

When he got back to his apartment, he collapsed on top of his bed, and the tears streamed down his face. Memories of that whole day poured into his mind. Memories that he thought he had forgotten. How he and James had been cuddling in bed that morning. The way that James had cooked pancakes, making a mess out of the kitchen, and Kendall had kissed his cheek, and cleaned it all up. How they had later taken a shower together, and went out to lunch. How Kendall had gotten mad, because James had stared for a little too long at the female waitress. How they had fought all afternoon, and well into the evening. How James had packed his bags. The broken look on his face as he walked out of the door and out of Kendall's life, forever. All these images played on repeat in Kendall's head. He didn't understand what had gone wrong.

* * *

_Most of what I remember makes me sure; I should have stopped you from walking out the door…_

* * *

The next day, Kendall once again dragged himself out of bed, intending on actually getting some of the stuff he meant to do yesterday, done. He took a quick shower, and got dressed quickly, and scarfed down some breakfast. He got back in his car, and drove to the supermarket. When he got in there, he quickly walked through the aisles, trying to get his groceries as fast as possible. He made it through the store relatively quickly, and made it home sooner than expected. He put away his groceries, and turned on the news. What he saw made his heart stop.

"In recent pop news, James Diamond, pop singing sensation, and his girlfriend, Cassandra Stewart, have gotten engaged."

Tears sprang to Kendall's eyes, and he flipped the television off. Well then. He hoped James was happy.

* * *

_You could be happy; I hope you are, you made me happier than I'd been by far…_

* * *

As he lay in bed that night, Kendall wishes that he could turn back time. He wishes that the fight had never happened. He wishes that he had stopped James from walking out the door. Kendall doesn't think its fair that James gets to be happy without him. James, who got what he wanted in the end: the chance to be a pop star. James, who had always promised to be there for Kendall. Kendall should have known better. After all, everyone who ever really mattered to him always broke their promises. Kendall tries to convince himself that this is for the best, but then he imagines James on his wedding day, getting married to Kendall, and his next breath catches in his throat, and he's sobbing. He wants that so badly, that he doesn't think he can stand it.

* * *

_Somehow everything I own smells of you, and for the tiniest moment it's all not true…_

* * *

When the gilded envelope comes a few days later, Kendall leaves it sitting on his counter. At first he doesn't know what to think. Why would James suddenly invite him to his wedding? To gloat? To show Kendall how well he's doing without him? Finally, curiosity gets the better of him, and he opens it. The card is fancy, and delicate, and Kendall can tell James's fiancée planned it all. It just shows that James had nothing to do with it. A small note flutters out, and Kendall reaches out to catch it. Kendall immediately recognizes the handwriting.

_Kendall, I hope you don't mind, I asked Logan for your address. I'd be happy if you came to the wedding, I mean, I miss you. I miss my best friend. I mean, I don't want to pressure you, so don't feel like you have to come. Fuck, I'm terrible at this. You were always the one with the words. Anyways, just thought I'd invite you. James x_

Kendall crumples the note, and is about to throw it away, before he smooth's it out and rereads it. He wonders what he did in life to deserve this.

* * *

_Do the things that you always wanted to, without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do…_

* * *

He puts off RSVP'ing until the last moment, and the day of, he doesn't get out of bed until he's almost late. When he arrives at the church, he sits near the back, hoping James doesn't spot him. He can tell that the wedding is about to start, when Logan and Carlos take their place at James's side. James is absolutely breathtaking, and Kendall thinks he's stopped breathing. James's eyes search the crowd, and when they catch sight of Kendall, Kendall thinks his heart has stopped beating also. The resulting smile on James's face lights up the room, and Kendall realizes that this whole thing is was a bad idea. He has this sudden, desperate urge to leave, so he quietly gets up, and slips out the back. He gets in his car, and drives home. He didn't want to be at the wedding anyway.

When he turns on the television later that night, news of the wedding is top priority. Kendall flicks it off; he didn't want to watch it anyway. He wonders when this aching feeling in his chest is going to go away, but then he remembers the way James looked today, and he knows it will never go away.

* * *

_More than anything I want to see you, girl, Take a glorious bite out of the whole world…_

* * *

**And that's the end! Did you like it? Leave a review and tell me what you think!**


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